I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
You can't motorboat a personality
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
that may or may not have been my penis.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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