morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
