yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize