Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
i think im in europe. pls send help
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