My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
