Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
