Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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