i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize