spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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