I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
