Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
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