Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
