It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
