I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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