Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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