For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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