I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
