My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two words: blizzard sex
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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