i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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