i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
