I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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