i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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