Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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