I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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