Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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