walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I think my moral compass just broke
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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