the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
