I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
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watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
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I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
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