New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
