no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
