I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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