News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
