he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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