you turned your livingroom into a bong?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
