I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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