Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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