You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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