This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
We need to get me chipped asap
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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