If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize
