last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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