Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss http://tfl.nu/k4jz
  Replies (4) Good night (1147) Bad night (646)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (650): I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs. http://tfl.nu/bo8w
  Replies (7) Good night (1784) Bad night (623)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (313): Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this... http://tfl.nu/lox2
  Replies (10) Good night (805) Bad night (4471)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (312): Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo? http://tfl.nu/uk9c
  Replies (33) Good night (3362) Bad night (3678)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night http://tfl.nu/9u90
  Replies (14) Good night (6378) Bad night (1053)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme. http://tfl.nu/wwup
  Replies (4) Good night (2004) Bad night (800)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn. http://tfl.nu/4ftp
  Replies (14) Good night (1785) Bad night (1391)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good. http://tfl.nu/x11e
  Replies (0) Good night (1133) Bad night (603)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor. http://tfl.nu/swbu
  Replies (24) Good night (1416) Bad night (3578)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (631): The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time http://tfl.nu/yanl
  Replies (3) Good night (1546) Bad night (932)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat. http://tfl.nu/pqit
  Replies (10) Good night (1425) Bad night (493)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (949): You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering. http://tfl.nu/3arq
  Replies (0) Good night (506) Bad night (303)
• Favorite

  (806): View more from Texas

  No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (806): No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch. http://tfl.nu/nl2h
  Replies (4) Good night (416) Bad night (288)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone. http://tfl.nu/t31y
  Replies (25) Good night (376) Bad night (982)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (916): When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!! http://tfl.nu/tjy9
  Replies (3) Good night (456) Bad night (306)

Randomize