Texts From Last Night

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  (416): View more from Ontario

  I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey

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  (416): I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey http://tfl.nu/3mx1
  Replies (14) Good night (1432) Bad night (703)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog

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  (423): NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog http://tfl.nu/kzjg
  Replies (54) Good night (3119) Bad night (763)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.

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  (541): She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it. http://tfl.nu/jrtc
  Replies (12) Good night (622) Bad night (2863)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman

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  (440): Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman http://tfl.nu/2u4y
  Replies (9) Good night (737) Bad night (4100)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.

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  (206): I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed. http://tfl.nu/hhhb
  Replies (26) Good night (1106) Bad night (5769)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation

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  (812): if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation http://tfl.nu/uyko
  Replies (106) Good night (5780) Bad night (1012)
• Favorite

  (571): View more from Virginia

  You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?

  (703): View more from Virginia

  I don't even know what potassium is.

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  (571): You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember? (703): I don't even know what potassium is. http://tfl.nu/wfp6
  Replies (47) Good night (10365) Bad night (1248)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.

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  (503): There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize. http://tfl.nu/694m
  Replies (8) Good night (4524) Bad night (1152)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch

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  (516): Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch http://tfl.nu/s2ci
  Replies (10) Good night (4649) Bad night (879)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.

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  (503): We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty. http://tfl.nu/32wc
  Replies (9) Good night (816) Bad night (1559)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.

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  (914): We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo. http://tfl.nu/ouwj
  Replies (25) Good night (4459) Bad night (719)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.

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  (214): So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him. http://tfl.nu/fzxv
  Replies (2) Good night (2197) Bad night (526)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  Okay we're getting vodka and coming

  (1-513): View more from Ohio

  Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt

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  (513): Okay we're getting vodka and coming (1-513): Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt http://tfl.nu/g69k
  Replies (1) Good night (882) Bad night (463)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Ontario

  This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.

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  (905): This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick. http://tfl.nu/xvkz
  Replies (2) Good night (917) Bad night (361)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes

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  (540): I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes http://tfl.nu/fbfz
  Replies (1) Good night (386) Bad night (219)

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