i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
