is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
