his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
