What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
