i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize