You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
