The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
