yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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