he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
