I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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