So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
