You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
