I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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