Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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