Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Im part way to drunk.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
