My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
