butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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