i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
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