He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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