That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Randomize
