I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
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