then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
