Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
