I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
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